Birth partner support
A birth partner preparation checklist: words, plans and practical help
Prepare as a birth partner with a short conversation about preferences, useful words, audio and practical tasks you can take care of before labour begins.
Being a birth partner can come with a very practical question: “What should I actually do?” Start by asking the person giving birth what support they would like. A conversation before labour gives you a shared starting point, even when preferences change later.
This checklist focuses on that conversation and the small preparations you can do together. Your role is to support their choices and help with practical tasks, while the maternity team provides clinical care.
Read the preferences together
Set aside a little time to look through any birth preferences or plan. Ask which details matter most to them, what they want you to remember, and where the plan will be kept.
The NHS guidance for birth partners recommends knowing the birth plan, preparing for the journey and supporting communication with the maternity team. It also notes that plans can change.
Write down questions you want to raise at an appointment. You do not need to answer clinical questions yourselves. Knowing where to find your maternity team’s contact details is more useful than relying on an app to decide what a symptom means.
Ask what helpful words sound like
Some people like encouragement. Others would rather have a quiet presence. Ask about both words and tone: would they want a soft reminder, a direct practical question, or silence until they ask for something?
Try a few phrases together and keep only the ones they like. For example:
- “I’m here with you.”
- “Would you like the audio on, or quiet?”
- “Would you like me to ask that question?”
You can also ask which phrases they dislike. Reassurance that feels comforting to one person can feel distracting to another. Avoid promises about how the birth will go; choose words you can mean in the moment.
BirthSound includes partner cues you can look through together. Treat them as suggestions to choose from, rather than a script you must follow.
Learn the audio controls before you need them
If they want guided audio, ask them to show you a favourite session. Learn how to start, pause and change the volume, and check whether they want headphones or sound in the room.
Ask before taking over the phone or changing tracks. One clear preference, such as “Please ask before starting another recording,” can save repeated decisions later. If you are both new to guided listening, try a free BirthSound session together.
Put charging cables and any audio accessories somewhere you can find them. If listening offline matters, use our offline birth playlist checklist to test the setup together.
Take ownership of a few practical tasks
Choose the tasks you will handle, and make sure you both know the arrangement. Depending on your plans, that might include finding the packed bag, checking the route, keeping a charger accessible, or managing updates to family.
Agree who can receive updates and what you may share. You could prepare a neutral message such as “We’ll be in touch when we’re ready,” so neither of you needs to manage a stream of questions.
Keep your own essentials easy to reach too. A checklist that only you know about is less useful than one you have both seen.
Leave room for a different answer
What feels helpful during preparation may feel different during labour. A request to stop talking, pause a recording or put the phone away is useful information. You can respond without taking it personally.
Keep checking in with short, specific questions when appropriate. Follow the person’s lead, help them communicate their wishes, and listen to their care team. You do not need to perform the perfect supporting role. You need to stay available and adapt.